5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

Not totally sure how to start. I just got done watching ANTM and I’m happy and sad. I was so happy that Naima won. I knew she would from the start. I picked the last two as well. But I was so sad for Kahlen. She kinda won my heart after the “Wrath” episode.  This is one of those times that I really really hope that I’m rigth about the fact that some of the girls who don’t win get contacts anyway. She deserves it so much and I think she can get over her minor flaws. So…there’s that.

Everyone’s been pretty concerned about me lately because of the moods and health issues. I’ve been up and down, but mostly down. I had a meltdown today, and looking back on it it seems for the stupidest reason. But I suppose unless you’re over your issues completely it will build until you break and can start all over hoping the next time you won’t fall off the edge. Daddy took time out of his schedule today to work through it with me. I tried to keep him out of it but in a way he proved that I’m really bad at keeping him out of it…he’s the deciding factor on if he gets involved in it or not. Part of me feels really bad that we had to go through converstation 853 again. Part of me is very thankful that he cared enough to get annoyed and concerned to help me through it…again. I’m still a bit torqued from it but dealing and I’m going to bed soon so I’ll have a chance to start over again tomorrow.

Tomorrow I have to get up really early to go to my counseling appt and hopefully to see the Dr who will get me on something that will help more then stuff is now. It’s gonna be a pretty long day cause I have to teach and take class tomorrow night. Tat will be coming over to stay the night. She let me borrow the car so I don’t have to take a cab or bus.

Friday she and I are gonna go to Great Adventure or to the beach. I don’t know but we’ll hang out and do something. Saturday it looks like we might try and go see Star Wars if it’s possible and then go into the city to Flagg’s Introggation Workshop. Part of me wants to participate but I think it’s possible I wouldn’t survive it very well and definately not for very long. Flagg knows me to well for me to place this game and while most play to loose I know I’d be trying to play to win. I still have to think on it more.

Last night I wasn’t able to go to the reading. We were running late because of T1 issues and I couldn’t reach the guy by cell to tell him. I did make the meeting but didn’t see him there so I couldn’t offer to do it for him then. I sent mail explaining but have yet to hear back from him. A friend of Daddy’s and Flagg’s was at the meeting who totally cheered me up with some attention and I’m pretty sure I shocked one or two people because I was so friendly with him. All I can say is it felt really really nice to have some physical attention like that from a non-partner. It made my night and probably my month. LOL

Time for sleep so I can wake up early. I didn’t get a chance to workout or clean tonight like I do when Daddy’s not home. I’ll have to make up for it later. Sweet dreams to everyone until my next blog.

Editor’s Note: I just recieved a piece of email that the guy missed the appointment with me anyway because he was … ahem…being arrested. Um..that’s a little scary.